Today is my birthday. The big 5-0. Yep — fifty years old! I have no idea how I got here this fast, but I did. Life just seems to keep coming at you no matter how hard you try to stop it.
I was supposed to host a giant party last night with all my friends and family, but since we are all being responsible and social distancing, I cancelled it at the end of March. Not going to lie, I was bummed about it at the time. I — well, TitsnToolz, which is the name of my very non-professional "reno" company — had just completed a huge renovation of my house pretty much on my own.
My good friend Dave helped me with construction in the laundry room and putting in a new shower in the downstairs bathroom, but other than that, it was my ass up and down the ladder, hammering, sawing, and building to my little heart's content.
Anyway, I was super excited to show it off at my birthday party and just welcome my friends and family into my home as a way to say thank you for all their love and encouragement over the past fifty years. I mean, I had already purchased snacks and started a playlist. I was pumped!
Fifty years. Geez. It sounds bad when you write it out and then stare at it for a while as you're trying to think of something positive to write about turning 50. But I'm a glass-half-full kind of woman most days and my 50th birthday is no exception.
I'm a lucky person to have lived fifty years so far, and I count my blessings every single day. My mom passed away when she was 53, so I am well aware of how precious life is and how important it is to love hard and not waste a single second. And by not wasting a single second, I don't mean having to constantly go, go, go — I mean not wasting a single second not living the life you want to live with the people you want to live it with, even if that living is just hanging on the couch watching a movie. That is time well spent, my friends.
Our family was never a big "birthday" family. Sure, as kids we had a small party — sometimes with friends, but usually just with our family. Mom would make the "birthday dinner," which more often than not was "Beefeater" — a hamburger mix, grilled on buns with melted processed cheese on top. Mom was an awesome cook and could whip up anything, but this is what we always wanted, and she always delivered. Of course, there would be cake — ALWAYS homemade and usually banana.
At some point during the day, we would sneak a few moments alone for a snuggle, and I would make her tell me the story of my birth. It was important to know every detail, as my recollection of the actual day is a little hazy.
As an adult, birthdays were never quite the same, I think because she wasn't there and memories on special occasions are always hard. The enthusiasm to celebrate is very muted, to say the least — at least for me and my birthdays.
Except for this one. I was ready to rip it up and celebrate! Then COVID happened and plans had to change. But me not being able to host my birthday party was not something to stress over when the world is on the edge. I would make do.
I got myself all dressed — which nowadays means wearing pants with an actual button and a top I didn't find lying on the chair in my bedroom — AND I even put on makeup because, well, I was going to a party! My hair was a little "80s" big because I'd let it dry on its own, and let's face it, my quarantine self-cut didn't involve any sort of frizz control or layering techniques. It was just snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Hmm, a little more here. Some over there. I can't see the back at all, so I'm just going to wing it and snip here a little more. Shit. Probably should have stopped a few snips ago.
Then I poured myself a drink, turned on my stereo, and LET. IT. RIP.
And yes, I was dancing with a selfie stick because how else was I supposed to document my big party when I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE!
So yes, I had a fantastic birthday party all by myself in quarantine — because when you're 50, you can do things like that and not give a shit. You've earned the right to dance naked in your basement. (No accompanying photographs, so you'll never know whether I did or didn't, so there.)
The point is, life is what you make of it. You can choose how to spend your time and you can choose how to react to what life throws at you. It's not always going to be great — that's just how life is. And plans aren't always going to come to fruition — that's just how life is. You have to roll with it, otherwise you will get stuck in the mud, and being stuck in the mud for an extended period of time is really not that pleasant.
So when the disco ball is spinning and the strobe lights are strobing, and the DJ is rocking the house, and the music is so loud you can barely hear yourself think — you just stop trying to think and you let your body feel the groove and you dance, baby! You just dance! 'Cause it's your birthday, baby!
Happy Birthday to ME! Bring on the next 50! I'm ready for ya!