Hi. My name is Trish and I have a serious problem.
I cannot stop making things — whether it is out of wood, gravel, yeast, fruits, or vegetables, I cannot stop building, baking, canning, and freezing. I cannot stop looking at recipes or scouring plans for projects.
I went out last night to buy some Chinese food for dinner. Sounds simple, right? But they were closed already. I was super ticked because it was only 7 pm and I'd been doing some serious physical labour all day, and every cell in my body was craving Chinese food. I didn't want a burger or any other sort of fast food, but I still wanted something quick and easy to make.
So I went with my old standby — a hot dog. I knew I didn't have any buns, so after the Chinese food store, I drove up to our little farmer's market because they have a bakery inside. Lately I'd just been making my own buns, but I was fresh out, and while a piece of bread is an acceptable substitute, I felt like a bun.
As soon as I parked the car, I knew I was in trouble. There under the side-building display was a row of peaches. Since peach season began, I'd already bought about twelve cartons. I'd made peach jam and canned a whole bunch of sliced peaches. I did NOT need any more peaches.
"Just walk right by, Trishy, just keep walking. You do NOT need any more peaches!"
"Oh... but just look at them all. They're perfectly ripe and so beautiful. I MUST have them!"
You know I bought them. I actually surprised myself by only buying one. I had my hand on a second, but my subconscious managed to pry my fingers off the handle just in time. I bought more peaches because of the container. WTH? And now I need to figure out what I'm going to do with them.
Maybe a nice peach chutney or peach salsa? I had my hand on some pears too, but pear season is just starting here and these were pretty firm, so it was easier to say no. The other day I bought a bushel of red peppers and half a bushel of green peppers. Did I mention that I live alone and feed no one but myself?
Clearly, I need an intervention of some sort.
Once I got home, I started thinking about these last six months and all the projects I've gotten myself into inside the house and out. I wondered if maybe all this was me just trying to keep busy through the quarantine, and I think that's part of it, but digging deeper, I think it's just who I am.
I need to create. All the time. It doesn't just manifest itself in words on the page — it appears in the daily things I do and the way I live my life. Of course, I could just go to the store and purchase canned peaches or peach jam or salsa. Yes, I could hire someone and pay to have a concrete patio laid or the driveway redone.
But then I would be missing out on the thing that keeps me sane and drives my happiness — using my creativity to see these projects come to fruition by my hands and my sheer sweat. There is nothing like it. Seeing a picture in your mind and then making it happen.
We all have this ability, we really do, yet a wide swath of us have convinced ourselves that we don't, and that 'we are just not creative.' Nothing could be further from the truth. Creativity isn't just about the arts or writing or designing — it's a way of living bravely and not being concerned with what others think of us.
Living creatively is about expressing ourselves in whatever way we need to, being proud of our individuality, and celebrating who we are as a person. It's about seeing the joy in a hummingbird at the feeder you installed on the fencepost or searching for a new recipe to try.
The difference between 'creative' and so-called 'non-creative' people is that creative people just tend to express their creativity in a more outward manner. That's it. And I think it's important for a creative person like myself to continue to do so as a way to encourage others — especially those stubborn 'non-creatives' who continuously fight with their psyches about how 'non-creative' they really are, like it's a badge of honour.
It's not a badge of honour. The true badge of honour is letting that creativity out and showing the world what you can do! It doesn't have to be perfect — perfection is a horrible myth that uses fear as a means to keep one from moving forward. It's nasty and so self-defeating. Do your best to let that perfectionism go. You'll never live your best life if you don't.
I am not a perfectionist. I don't care what other people think. I know I'm not the best writer in the world. I know that not all the corners on my renovation build are perfectly square. I know that my concrete patio has a few stones that are higher on one side.
I DO NOT CARE.
I did and continue to do my best, and that's all I can ask of myself.
When I say I have a serious problem, I mean it, I do. I cannot stop creating. And guess what? I'm not going to stop either! Because creating makes me happy. It's an ocean of fresh air, especially in these troubling times. It's where I find my light and it's where I find my peace.
When the well is full, I feel unstoppable! I feel that nothing or no one can stand in the way of my dreams and goals. And why is the well so full? Because I've allowed myself to let it be filled. I've given myself permission to daydream, use my imagination, and become inspired. I've allowed myself to get lost in the art of creating.
I've given myself permission to MAKE a life and not just live a life, and with that permission, I've freed myself from any preconceived notions of what my life should be. Now it's what I make it. Every day, I get up and I get to decide what I'm going to make of this glorious time on earth. I have no idea how long that time may be, but I am going to do my damnedest to make it count.
So here's your challenge. MAKE your life — don't just live it. MAKE it. Create it.
You decide.