I spent some time this week searching through some of my research material that I'd gathered for the Creative Spark Nation website and the 'Daily Sparks' that you can sign up to receive in your inbox every morning. The Daily Sparks are usually just a quote from someone or an inspirational thought that resonated with me in some way — speakers like Ralph Waldo Emerson, Gilda Radner, and Kermit the Frog. Don't knock Kermit. That little frog is full of spunk, pizzazz, and intelligent commentary.
I grew up watching The Muppets on Sesame Street, and I believe Jim Henson to be one of the most creative and inspirational figures of my childhood. Those Muppets like Kermit, Ernie and Bert, Cookie Monster, and Grover taught me so many different life lessons — like how to count. Well, that was actually The Count, who was quite frightening for my tender soul. They also gave me permission to sing and dance wildly with my arms flapping above my head — not that I really needed any.
One of my favourite Kermit quotes is from a TEDx Talk he did in 2014. Yes, Kermit the Frog is an esteemed member of the TED alumni:
"There's one other thing that I think every frog or person needs to be creative: and that is friends. For me, I think the very best part of creativity is collaborating with friends and colleagues. Admittedly, mine happen to be bears, pigs, rats, chickens, and penguins, but you go with whatever works for you." — Kermit the Frog
I'll go a bit further than Kermit and suggest that we don't just need friends to be creative — we need them to survive and to thrive in life. I think this past year of social isolation and separation is evidence enough. Humans are social creatures.
I'm very lucky in that I have several different pockets of friends when I need to fill my well. I have my family, whom I all consider my friends, and I have friends I consider my family. I have friends I've met through work, and many of them have become family. There are the friendships I've developed just by being and interacting with others on a day-to-day basis, like my neighbours, school chums, and Kevin the UPS guy — although I think Kevin would like to be a little more than friends, if you ask me. I mean, rose petals glued to my Amazon deliveries? Then there are my cherished girlfriends from high school and university, and of course my core group of besties, 'The Hurricane Girls,' whose exploits cannot legally be shared in the public pages of this blog.
Each and every one of them adds so much to my life in their own different way. When I was searching through my Daily Sparks, I came across this quote from Oprah Winfrey:
"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." — Oprah Winfrey
And when you really stop and think about it, isn't that the truth? I want the friends who are going to take the bus with me when the limo breaks down.
In talking with my friends and others this past year, one of the common complaints is how much each of us is missing our friends and our family. Sure, we're missing travel, but I think more, we're missing the experience of being with others and just sharing life with one another. I know I am.
My new garlic press is handy, but it doesn't make me laugh. My new hoodies are snuggly, but they'd be even more snuggly if I could hug someone while I'm wearing them. My new toque is cute (it really is), but there's only so many times you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'OMG Girl! You look so cute in that new toque! Wait until Kevin the UPS guy sees you!' before it gets a little weird.
I feel incredibly blessed to have the type of friends who would 'ride the bus with me' — and who have literally ridden the bus with me more than once. I mean, they were party buses, but it still counts, right? I miss them. I miss my friends. I miss the fun. I miss the laughter. I miss the chats. I miss the hugs. We can text or have video calls or like each other's social media posts, but it just isn't the same.
I worry about those who may not have a strong social network. I worry about how they are navigating these crazy times and the lasting impact it's going to have on their mental health.
I've recently befriended an older gentleman who lives up the street. We've been neighbours for three decades, but I never even knew his first name until this summer. One day when I was outside working on rebuilding my driveway, I saw him walking by. We sort of just looked at each other and then I smiled and said hi. That's all it took. He came over and just started talking.
Turns out Ed is a retired butcher waiting for a hip and a knee replacement, so he walks all the time now to try and stay as nimble as possible. He said he'd always wanted to see what my backyard looked like but just never asked — didn't think it was his place. Turns out Ed's wife Karen gets none too pleased if he's late for dinner, so just before his watch hit 5 pm, he was headed back across the street. Ed and I wave to each other all the time now, and if one of my garbage bins goes astray in the wind, I know he'll bring it back. I don't think Ed would necessarily ride the bus with me if the limo broke down, but I do think he would hang around for the tow truck to come.
Reach out. Say hi. Smile at someone. Wave. Send a quick text message or email. You never know what that person is feeling in that moment or how much they might have needed that little bit of human interaction. Tell people you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you. Trust me on this — it feels so good.
The world is crazy right now. Nothing seems very right. So lean into the things that make us feel safe and secure, whatever that may be for you. For me, that's my friends and my family. They are what keep me grounded and keep me filled with warmth and love, even if we can't be physically together right now.