I was outside this afternoon staining some wooden chairs, and normally I have some tunes going, but today I was just content to listen to the birds and the wind rustling the trees. It was a hot and steamy day here, but I'd set up shop under my big maple tree, so I was comfortable. It was perfect — just me and my thoughts. For about ten minutes.
I'd just gotten started when the neighbours behind decided to come out and go swimming, which of course is their right when you have a pool and it's sweltering out. The youngest of their three kids is about nine years old, and he has just the best laugh. It's one of those that starts in his toes and just explodes throughout his whole body. And he laughs a lot, like constantly. Doesn't matter what that kid is doing, he's always laughing and having fun.
As I stained away, I listened to the kids playing in the pool and it brought me back to when I was young and all of us neighbourhood kids would congregate at the neighbour's pool across the street. I can't even remember if there was a parent out there watching us, but it was the 1970s, so probably not. We seemed quite capable of policing our own play.
Things are very different nowadays. Parents are always present, and I suppose that's a good thing, but I think most kids these days are terrible problem solvers. They just don't know how to do it because, for the most part, they've never been trusted to solve a problem on their own. I'm not saying this is the case for every child — but I'd lay a clean hundred-dollar bill on it being the majority.
Children are way more resourceful than we give them credit for. I think the key is trying to figure out how to inspire them to do their best work. And that, I believe, all comes down to play. Unstructured play. Not organized games, not video games, not games constantly watched by adults — but play where it's just a group of them and they have to figure shit out on their own.
Think about it. Were those not the best times as a kid? For me they were. Just hanging out with your buddies and using your imagination to make up games. My friend Chrissy and I used to make 'popcorn' using my tricycle. We'd turn it upside down, turn the pedals with our hands to make the wheel go, and then put grass in the spokes — and viola! 'Popcorn' came shooting out. Genius if you ask me. We still talk about it to this day.
Our imaginations can take us to places that our feet can't. But what I want to know is why is 'make believe' only for children? Why do adults hit a certain age and then all of a sudden 'make believe' is no longer cool? Do we get embarrassed? What's the deal?
I'll let you in on a little secret. I still believe in make believe. I still play at make believe. I do, it's true — I wouldn't shit you about something like that. I am a firm believer in the power of make believe as a creative stimulant. In my case, it is a powerful tool that I use to help relieve stress, battle grief, and generally just to have fun.
Ever since I was a small child, I would go into 'make believe' mode as I was snuggling into bed. I'd pretend this and that and it didn't really matter what it was — I was always going on some sort of adventure. Now maybe this has something to do with my destiny as a writer, who knows, but I tell you, make believe has gotten me through some very tough times.
To this day, I still find myself in story mode as I'm falling asleep. Granted, the stories are a little more complex and sometimes they carry from night to night, but it's a habit that I've never fallen out of, and boy am I glad! I think as adults we need to let our imaginations run wild way more often than we do. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It's not juvenile — it's how our minds are built.
Why as adults are we conditioned to give up our child-like behaviours? And I don't mean just being an immature ass — I mean just getting out there and playing and laughing for the sake of laughing, and just being unafraid of how we look or what people think. What happened to the fun?
Most adults need a few drinks to 'loosen up.' All that is fine and I have no issues with any of it, but why do we need 'liquid courage'? Why can't we just do it on our own? I think it boils down to fear. It's always about fear. We are so afraid of not fitting in or of people judging us.
Personally, I'm done with all that shit. Judge me if you want, I honestly don't care. My ability to delve deep into my inner child is my superpower. It's what gives me the fuel and energy to create and just do the things that I do. It's about having that child-like sense of curiosity about life and the different people who cohabit this beautiful world of ours.
Which brings me back to the kid in the pool. His sense of absolute joy and abandonment of societal protocol is so refreshing. His laugh makes me laugh, every time. That kid knows how to have fun. That kid knows what living in the moment is all about. That kid is everything we as adults should strive to get back to.
Enough of this constant 'adulting.' It's time for all of us to find our inner child — even if it's only for a few minutes a day. Dig deep and find it. It's there, I promise. It's just buried under years and years of 'don't be such a child' and 'you're a grown-up now.' Find it and have some fun with it!
Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for 'make believe' — I mean bed. Maybe tonight I'll fly to the moon or maybe I'll be stranded on a deserted island and befriend a wild goat named Pedro, and we'll set up a tiki bar and have dance parties. What? It's my imagination and I can take it wherever I like!
And you can too. Don't be afraid of what other people think, honestly, it's not worth it. Their opinion doesn't matter. It's what's in your heart and soul that matters most. And in that heart and soul is a little kid screaming to get out and play. Listen closely because she's banging on the door. Do her and yourself a huge favour and let her out. You won't regret it.
Sweet dreams!