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Competitive Sports?  Are They Becoming Too Much?

By Trish Faber

     What parent doesn’t love to watch their son or daughter smack a baseball into the outfield or fire a hockey puck top shelf on the goalkeeper?  Playing competitive sports teaches our children how to interact with others and as part of a team, both important skills in the development of a well-rounded child.  But as parents, where do we draw the line between sports being an accessory to childhood and sports becoming the entire childhood.  Is there such a thing as too much competitive sport?  And who is the competition really for, the child or the parent?  Can the pressure to succeed become too much?

     While sports are meant to be an enjoyable and integral part of growing up, too often one sport becomes the central focus of the child’s life.  Don’t get me wrong, I played a variety of competitive sports in my youth, even going to the Canadian Championships for one, but I also had plenty of time to just do kid things, like ride my bike and build snow forts.  Practises and games took up maybe 3 or 4 days of the week and most times the number was much less.

     I know kids these days who have something scheduled for their particular sport 6 out of 7 days.  One 10 year old hockey player went 8 straight days before getting a night off.  On the nights he didn’t have a game or practise, there were scheduled team fitness activities to improve conditioning.  How conditioned does a 10 year old need to be?  Does he really need to be lifting weights and using a yoga ball?   And where does school and homework fit in?

     Nowadays hockey tournaments begin on Fridays, meaning the kids get pulled out of school on a regular basis.  The kids love it but since when did it become the norm to schedule non-sanctioned school events on school days?  Do we value athletics more than education?  I’ve heard the argument that it’s okay because “they’re only 10, they’ll catch up,” and that’s my point exactly.  They’re only 10 years old and it’s just a game.  A game that’s supposed to be fun.

     When a child becomes physically sick from exhaustion or cries uncontrollably in the locker room because they lost the game, it’s too much.  The game has become too important, too competitive.  As parents we need to step in and relieve some of the pressure our kids are feeling.  But we don’t.  We talk about it amongst the other parents and whine and complain to ourselves but we never have the guts to say that’s enough.  Why?

     Is it because so many parents are ‘living the dream’ through their child, pushing them to succeed in areas where they themselves didn’t?  Or is it about parents not wanting to ruffle any feathers?  The politics of competitive sports are another ugly issue altogether. 

     Whatever the cause, the effect is visible in the child.  The dark circles under the eyes, the exhausted tantrums, the failed spelling test.  Let’s face the facts; the chances of your child becoming a professional athlete are fairly slim.  It’s okay to be competitive and it’s okay to want to win but there needs to be balance in the child’s life.  They need to understand that winning isn’t everything but trying and giving their best effort is.

     We expect so much from our children; be the best at this, be the best at that.  In fact, as parents, we expect more from them and set higher expectations then we do for ourselves.  It’s quite acceptable for us to skip a workout or activity if we don’t feel like going, but by God as long as our kid can stand up and he’s breathing, we’re shoving him in the car and driving him off to wherever.

     We’re raising a society of little adults and that’s just plain wrong.  I have a novel idea.  How about we get over our own insecurities as parents and let our kids be the best at what they know how to be.  How about we all just let them be kids.